


A Diamond in the Rough

by Polomonkey



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BAMF Merlin, Bad Puns, Crimes & Criminals, Humor, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5609902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are jewel thieves. Not every heist goes off without a hitch...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Diamond in the Rough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Candymacaron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Candymacaron/gifts).



> I've been doing fic AUs on Tumblr and the lovely Candy asked for a partners in crime au :) Also fills my 'forced to hurt somebody' square on hurt/comfort bingo.

When Arthur is dragged into the room – one eye already black and swollen shut, blood trickling down the side of his face – Merlin makes sure his face stays blank.

“Your friend’s a little worse for the wear,” he says coolly to Alined.

“My friend? I think he might be a friend of yours, Mr Emerson.”

Alined is staring at him intently, but Merlin doesn’t bat an eyelid.

“Never seen him before in my life,” he says nonchalantly and knocks back another gulp of whiskey. It gives him a second or two to weigh up the scene.

Two bodyguards, one at either door, both armed. Gun on table in front of Alined, out of reaching distance. Merlin’s got his Beretta tucked into his belt and a knife strapped to his leg but it’ll take some skill to get to them before one of Alined’s goons blows his brains out. Or worse, Arthur’s.

_Time to play this tactically._

“Owes you money, does he?” Merlin says, pretending to peer at Arthur. It gives him a chance to look his partner over. He's pretty rough but Merlin’s seen him in worse states.

“Not exactly,” Alined says through his teeth. “He owes me a diamond.”

A diamond that’s currently sat in Merlin’s car boot outside. He’d been about ready to declare this heist a resounding success and make his excuses to leave when the goons had dragged Arthur in.

Arthur had many valuable skills but staying quiet while keeping watch was not one of them. Merlin wondered if his phone had gone off again. Arthur’s predilection for Bee Gees ringtones didn’t exactly help him maintain a low profile.

It doesn’t matter now. All that matters is Merlin figures a way out of here. And Plan A is using his not inconsiderable evasion tactics.

“Sounds like quite the sticky situation,” he says breezily. “I do hope it won’t interfere with our plans for dinner.”

“No, not at all,” Alined says slowly. “I’m sure my men can keep him occupied while we eat. I find torture can be a rather amusing accompaniment to a fine meal, don’t you agree?”

“I prefer a nice bottle of wine,” Merlin says feebly.

Alined leans forward, an unpleasant smile on his face.

“Surely not? A man with a reputation like you claim to have? The best torturer in the business?”

Alined’s fingers ghost over his gun.

“Since you came here today with the hopes of working with me, perhaps this might be a good time to demonstrate your skills Mr Emerson.”

_Great. Plan B it is._

“Sure,” he says smoothly.

He meets Arthur’s eyes as he walks across the room and finds his boyfriend looking back at him with resignation in his gaze.

Merlin tries to convey his apologies through some rather dramatic eyebrow semaphore. Arthur looks faintly confused and Merlin sighs inwardly. Then he swings his fist round and punches Arthur right in the face.

He manages to somewhat block Arthur’s body from Alined’s view so he can lessen the impact of his kicks to Arthur’s stomach. But they still have to connect and Merlin feels a guilty twinge every time Arthur moans in pain. He can’t stand it for very long. Under the guise of grabbing Arthur’s head by his hair, he gets close enough to whisper: “Shin knife.”

Arthur immediately grabs onto Merlin’s leg.

“Please…” he chokes out. “P-please don’t hurt me anymore.”

Alined snorts in disgust, which is convenient, as it covers the sound of Arthur slipping the knife out. 

“Pathetic,” Merlin sneers. “I should have known you’d be the type to beg for mercy as soon as – NOW!”

Arthur immediately rolls backwards and sticks the knife into the leg of the nearest bodyguard, who screams in agony. Merlin’s already grabbing the gun from the table and levelling it at Alined’s head.

“Drop that or he dies,” he says to the other bodyguard, who reluctantly drops his weapon.

“I knew you two were together,” Alined hisses.

“Partners in crime,” Merlin smirks. “Perhaps the names Pendragon and Emrys ring a bell?”

Alined looks baffled.

“Not really, no.”

“What? Ah come on, we’re famous!” Merlin says indignantly.

“Never heard of you,” Alined shrugs.

“Really?” Merlin says, crestfallen. “We’ve done loads of big heists. What about the Saxon rubies?”

“I thought that was Gwaine Green,” the bodyguard says.

“No it was not Gwaine Green!” Merlin snaps. “We worked very hard on that heist and I’m not having-”

“Merlin!” Arthur shouts from the corner, where he’s wrestling with the other bodyguard for control of the knife. “Not the time!”

“Right, yeah,” Merlin says. “So. We’ll be leaving then. Thanks for the diamond!”

“You’ll have to shoot me first,” Alined says.

“I will shoot you,” Merlin replies, moving his gun to point at one of Alined’s kneecaps. “Don’t think I won’t.”

“Go on then.”

“I will.”

“Well, go on then.”

“I’m gonna.”

“So do it.”

“I am!”

“Just shoot him, Merlin!” Arthur gasps as the other bodyguard pins him to the floor.

“Fine!” Merlin yelps and pulls the trigger.

Nothing happens. He pulls again, and then again.

“Looking for these?” Alined says, and he opens his palm to reveal six bullets nestled inside.

“Oh dear,” Merlin says weakly as the other bodyguard moves in to take a none too gentle grip on his neck.

_What was Plan C again?_

 

***

 

They end up tied back to back in one of the bedrooms. The ropes are pretty tight but Merlin’s fairly confident Arthur can wriggle out of them. If he’s not too angry at Merlin to try, that is.

“How’s it going back there?” Merlin says tentatively.

“Oh, great. The badly injured man is having a swell time rescuing the world’s worst boyfriend,” Arthur says sullenly and Merlin rolls his eyes.

“I’m sorry, okay? I couldn’t think of anything else!”

“Did you consider any plans that didn’t involve you inflicting grievous bodily harm on the man you supposedly love?”

“I do love you,” Merlin croons. “Arthur, baby-”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me,” Arthur gripes. “You’re sleeping on the couch when we get out of here.”

“I didn’t hit hard!”

“But did you have to go for my face?” Arthur says. “You know that’s the money-maker.”

“Oh my God.”

“It is! The criminals I’ve charmed for you, the sleazes I’ve sucked up to… and this is the thanks I get…”

Merlin tries to manoeuvre his hand round to pet at Arthur but only succeeds in nearly dislocating his own thumb.

“Ow!”

“Stop fidgeting,” Arthur says grumpily. “I’ll be done in a minute.”

Of all the many many things Merlin loves about Arthur, his insane flexibility has to be way up there. It’s proved exceptionally useful in their line of work… and it’s not exactly unwelcome in the bedroom either. Arthur really could pull off some impressive tricks. Why, it was only last week he’d managed to hook his legs around Merlin's neck in the middle of sex and then-

“I’m done, you idiot!”

Merlin suddenly realises that the ropes binding them have fallen to the floor. He jumps to his feet and reaches down to help Arthur up, who stands a little unsteadily.

“Okay?”

“Fine,” Arthur says through gritted teeth. “Tell me there’s another way out of here.”

“There’s another way,” Merlin confirms. “Unfortunately… it’s through that window.”

Arthur groans loudly.

“‘Let’s be jewel thieves, Arthur! It’ll be really fun, Arthur!’” he says in an exaggerated high voice.

“You agreed!”

“You asked me during sex! You know I never say no to anything during sex!”

“Oh, I know,” Merlin says with a slight leer and Arthur groans again.

“You know what, jumping out a window would actually be preferable to your terrible innuendo.”

“Good because I’m pretty sure I hear Alined coming,” Merlin says, hustling Arthur towards the window. “Just roll and drop, yeah?”

Without waiting for an answer he kicks the window in and bundles Arthur out of it. There’s a shout from outside the door and he hears the key in the lock. Never one to resist a good parting shot, Merlin lingers on the windowsill until Alined finally bursts through the door.

“You!”

“Sorry about dinner,” Merlin says casually. “But I’m afraid that plan’s rather gone out the window.”

Then he launches himself backwards, to freedom.

 

***

Back at the hotel, Merlin lies Arthur down on the bed and patches him up. There won’t be any lasting damage but Merlin can’t help but feel guilty as Arthur winces and hisses.

“I really am sorry,” he says gently when he’s finished, and Arthur waves his hand weakly.

“I’ll live.”

Careful not to knock against him, Merlin crawls up on the bed and lies down at Arthur’s side.

“We’ll take a holiday, yeah? I heard Spain’s nice this time of year. Or Italy. Or maybe Rio?”

“Whatever you want,” Arthur says dopily, the pain meds clearly kicking in already.

“No preference?”

“Just as long as I’m with you.”

Merlin grins into Arthur’s shoulder, pressing a quick kiss there.

“Always,” he promises.

Arthur smiles, letting his eyes droop closed. Merlin thinks he’s drifted off until he speaks again.

“By the way, Merlin… ‘I’m afraid that plan’s gone out the window?’ Really?”

Merlin’s an old school jewel thief and he firmly believes that no heist is quite complete without a good pun to finish it off. But he has to admit he was a little stretched for time on that one.

“Windows are tricky,” he says sulkily. “I’d like to see you do better.”

“Escaping through windows is a pane in the glass,” Arthur says immediately.

“That is goddamn awful,” Merlin says happily. “I love it.”

“Sort of how I feel about you,” Arthur mumbles and then he really is asleep.

Merlin decides to punish him for that comment in the morning, after he’s booked their tickets to Rio. But for now he settles on burying his face in the nape of Arthur’s neck and getting some well-earned rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [ART: The Jewel Thieves](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5627140) by [LFB72](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LFB72/pseuds/LFB72)




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